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Assignment part one — -See text page 215 assignment 7.2. This is a poorly written e-mail. Rewrite the e-mail – use bullet points, make it concise and clear, one page long.. Do not use the wording of the sample- doing so would be plagiarism. Keep the key information, using your words.
Assignment part two is write a persuasive e-mail. You are the East Coast manager of a Fortune 500 company. The company CEO just informed you that your branch consistently has a 300% higher shipping costs overruns. Write an email to all employees persuading them to reduce overnight or second day mail shipments. Your Federal Express and other shipping bills are excessive. Your staff is overusing these expensive shipping options. Employees need to send more faxes and emails. Sending a zipped file as an email attachment is easy and cost effective. A fax is about 35 cents compared to $15 to $20 for Fed Ex. overnight. All departments must plan ahead, and allow time for snail mail, UPS or Fed Ex ground, which is 3-5 days for delivery, or find out the recipient’s Fed Ex number and charge them for delivery. These overnight shipping are not a responsible use of money. Shipping costs must be cut by 50% in the next two months or the CEO threatens severe restrictions.
Write a clear, concise email to all employees. Use only the essential information.
See text page 191 and, “Frontload the information”.
Submit both e-mail assignments together in Blackboard
Follow the text – set up all business documents using single space within paragraphs and double space between paragraphs.
Use correct 4 line heading
Make subject line the reason for writing
Make first sentence state reason for writing = see text – frontload the message
Use all left block
Write short paragraphs
Write clear sentences
Use essential information
Omit extra details which can be shared in a meeting
Follow text, write a clear, complete, concise email
Use short bullet points
Use correct spelling, grammar and punctuation
Use appropriate tone
Avoid wordiness, slang or trite expressions
Single space within the paragraph, double space between
Make less than one page
Real email example and my revision
Here is a real example of – what not to do!
An international company sent out a poorly written email to their entire customer base. The company then sent a second email to apologize and clarify the first email.
This is the SECOND email I received from the company.
We recently sent an email about changes to your member benefits that come into effect at the beginning of next year. We’ve realized that some of the details may not have been very clear, and we’re sorry if we caused any confusion. Our intention is always to be transparent with you about our program. In this instance, we could have been clearer in our message
We truly value your loyalty to ABC® and are committed to doing all that we can to make your experiences with us all that you’ve come to expect from our people and brands.
Their second email is bad. The company wants to keep me as a customer. They need to gain my confidence and build good will.
Here is the email as I revised it.
Recently we sent an email about changes starting January, 2017, to your member benefits. Some of the details were not clear. We apologize for the confusion and inconvenience.
We value our loyal customers and want to be transparent about our program and benefits. The ABC Company wants you to have positive experiences with our people and brands.
Know we are always ready to serve your needs and to answer any questions.
Students, always use the 3 step writing process to write any business document.
When you are in the brainstorming, pre write stage, answer the W’s.
Some business documents need all these questions answered, others do not.
Always start with why you are writing. Your textbook says, “frontload the message”.
Every day people receive 100’s of emails. Use an accurate subject line and first sentence. People often ignore an email if the subject line doesn’t pertain to them.
You do not want to send a second email to clarify the first one. Doing so makes you look unorganized and incompetent.